Blog About No Blog, Part 2

Solomon, the wisest man, had several things to say about saying nothing. It was he who wrote that there is “a time to keep silence” (Ecclesiastes 3:7). One such time is when you are trying to speak to a proud, know-it-all, contentious fool.

Proverbs 23:9 Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words.

Since the fool thinks he knows everything and is too proud to ever admit he is wrong, you are wasting your time trying to reason with him. He is not going to like anything wise that you have to say since if you say something wise it is going to expose his folly. This is an important principle to remember when you are trying to witness to somebody about the truth of the gospel. Do not think you always have to have the last word in the argument. Your last best word may be no word at all. In the presence of the fool, it is best to keep quiet and say nothing at all. Let him bask in his self-conceit and let God deal with him.

Another time to keep silence is when strife is beginning.

Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.

My Aunt Nell had a wise saying: “The less said, the less needs mending.” Unfortunately, Aunt Nell did not always apply this sage advice. She was quite the one to offend others by being too quick to give them a piece of her mind. Too often we think we have to let others know every time they say or do something we disagree with or that we find offensive. It is often better just to let it go and say nothing. A lot of strife would be avoided if we just kept quiet. Always ask yourself when someone crosses you, “Is it worth making an issue over?”

Another appropriate time to keep silence is when we are being sorely tried and are awaiting deliverance.

Lamentations 3:26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him.

29 He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope.

How many have had to regret mouthing off in bitterness when they were suffering! Job was one such. He thought that God was not dealing fairly with him to permit him to suffer so much. In fact, the author of the book of Job, Elihu, became angry at Job for this.

Job 32:2 Then was kindled the wrath of Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the kindred of Ram: against Job was his wrath kindled, because he justified himself rather than God.

When God Almighty answered Job out of the whirlwind by presenting to Job His great power and wisdom, Job realized that he had spoken out of turn. Who was Job to question the judgment of so great and wise a God? Then Job changed his attitude as can be seen in his humble reply to God.

Job 40:3 Then Job answered the LORD, and said,

4 Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth.

5 Once have I spoken; but I will not answer: yea, twice; but I will proceed no further.

Job repented for what he had said and confessed that he had spoken without understanding what he was saying.

Job 42:3 Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.

6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Just as Jeremiah recommended in Lamentations, Job decided to keep silence and put his mouth in the dust. You see, when things are happening that we do not understand, rather than calling God’s righteousness into question, we should rather keep silence. It is better to say nothing at all than to speak without understanding only then to have to later regret what we said. In such circumstances it is best to “quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

Blog About No Blog, Part 1

I usually try to submit a meditation by means of this blog on a weekly basis. But there are those weeks when I do not have anything that I particularly want to write about. As I have thought about those times when I have nothing I want to say, I have thought that quite often saying nothing is appropriate. In other words, sometimes no blog is the order of the day. I have none other than the wisdom of Solomon, the wisest man, to support this thought. Solomon wrote:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
7 …a time to keep silence, and a time to speak….

There is a season when the appropriate thing to do is to keep silence, to say nothing.

One of the most profound events in the life of our Lord was that time when on trial for His very life, in the face of many accusations, He said nothing.

Mark 14:60 And the high priest stood up in the midst, and asked Jesus, saying, Answerest thou nothing? what is it which these witness against thee?
61 But he held his peace, and answered nothing.

Matthew 27:13 Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee?
14 And he answered him to never a word; insomuch that the governor marvelled greatly.

Luke 23:8 And when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceeding glad: for he was desirous to see him of a long season, because he had heard many things of him; and he hoped to have seen some miracle done by him.
9 Then he questioned with him in many words; but he answered him nothing.

Our Lord knew that the Jews had already decided His guilt and that they were determined to have Him crucified. He knew that Pontius Pilate would cave into the pressure that the Jews placed upon him. Jesus knew that nothing He would say would avail anything to the contrary. Therefore, He kept silence and committed the matter to His Father God. As I have often said, “You cannot prove innocence to someone determined to believe guilt.” Sometimes, a gush of words in a frantic effort to prove innocence only raises doubts. As Shakespeare said: “Methinks he protests too much.”

When Job’s three friends came to comfort him, the greatest comfort they gave was in the beginning when they just sat with him, wept, and said nothing. Here is the account:

Job 2:11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
12 And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.
13 So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

It was when Job’s friends opened their mouths in an attempt to make sense of his plight that they only added more grief to his misery. Job even called them “miserable comforters” (Job 16:2). Sometimes the best way to comfort grieving souls is to just be there, sit by them, and say nothing. In such times, our silent presence is often enough. We all too often want to talk them out of their grief. But in so doing we only make it worse. Job had this tidbit of advice for his friends that we would all do well to consider:

Job 13:5 O that ye would altogether hold your peace! and it should be your wisdom.

Solomon came along later and echoed the same advice.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

You see, sometimes the wisest thing to do is to say nothing at all. We would have all spared others and ourselves a lot of misery if we had just kept our mouths shut.

I have more to say about saying nothing. But for now, I will say no more lest I weary you with saying too much.

Dealing with Offences

Over the years in my ministry I have given people counsel with respect to dealing with offences that arise between brethren. From time to time people come to me with a grievance against a brother. They tell me their side of the story. Until I hear the other side of the story, I tell people to realize that I am responding only to what they have told me. I give them counsel based on the information they give me with the reservation that when I hear the other side, my response may be different. Then sometimes I get the other side of the story. Not having been on hand to see for myself what transpired, I am put in the middle. Of course, everyone wants me to believe that they are telling “the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” I generally advise people in these circumstances that I cannot take one person’s side against another in the absence of other witnesses. I am no more bound to believe one person than the other. In fact, I am under commandment of God to be impartial.

1 Timothy 5:21 I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.

Today, I would like to give a summary of the advice I give to people in these circumstances. This will be a longer meditation since I judge it expedient to put all the information together in one package. I hope this does not weary you.

In circumstances where one brother is offended by another, I give the advice of Him, Whose name is Counseller, even our Lord Jesus Christ (Isaiah 9:6). Nobody knows better than He how to handle these kinds of issues. Here is His word of counsel:

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

First off, this passage is dealing with private offences, where one brother has trespassed against another. This is not a formula for dealing with public offences. Where private offences occur, the first step is that the offended party must go alone to the offender, the one who trespassed against him. At this stage the transaction is strictly between the offended party and the offender, not between the offended party and the offender’s spouse, or his child, or his parent, or his friend. Too often this first step is not strictly observed. If the matter is not resolved in this first step, then the offended party must go again to the offender and take with him one or two more to act as witnesses. The text says “one or two more.” Any more than this is going beyond the commandment of Christ. This is to be done exactly as our Lord prescribed. Remember, He knows best how this should be done. The one or two more are there as witnesses to what transpires as the offended brother seeks to resolve the problem with the offender. They are there to take note of what it said, how it is said, and how it is received. Sometimes another person can be effective in mediating between offended parties. All too often tempers flare when people are dealing with offences and when passion sets in reason ends. When people become emotional, they often do not hear precisely what the other person is saying. They rather hear a version distorted by their emotions. The witnesses can assist in calling attention to this and clarifying what is being communicated. Through their assistance, “every word may be established.” If the issue is not resolved at this stage, then the matter comes before the church for adjudication. If the offender fails to hear the church, then he must be excluded from the fellowship.

However, bear in mind that the witnesses and the church can also judge that the one who was offended may be wrong or may have done wrong. In that case, the person offended must also hear the judgment of the church. It was to this very process that Paul was referring when he wrote the following words:

1 Corinthians 6:1 Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?

2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?

3 Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?

4 If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?

Observe that this passage is dealing with one brother, “any of you,” that has a matter against another brother and, therefore, comes under the law of Matthew 18:15-17. It is Paul’s argument that the church should certainly be able to decide in these matters of controversy. The church judges the claims and counterclaims between the parties. Therefore, if you are offended against another and you bring the matter before the scrutiny of witness and then before the church, be prepared to face whatever you may have done amiss in the matter. Before pursuing a brother before witnesses or before the church, consider that your cause may not always appear to others as it appears to you.

Proverbs 18:17 He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.

That is why Solomon also gives us this warning:

Proverbs 25:8 Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.

So give very serious and prayerful consideration to the matter before pursuing a brother according to Matthew 18. Do not act in haste.

It is very important to bear in mind that when you pursue a brother according to Matthew 18, the matter can end up with that brother being excluded from the church. Therefore, if someone has trespassed against you, you have to ask yourself if the matter is serious enough to you to run the risk of that brother being excluded from the church. If you do not judge the matter to be so grave as to warrant a possible loss of church fellowship with the offender, then you have another option given to you in the law of Christ. That option is to overlook the offence as the following passage suggests:

Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a transgression is just to let it go, to just forget about it. Observe in this passage that passing over a transgression is connected with deferring anger. A wise man is one who is not quick to react with anger every time someone crosses him. If someone upsets you, step back from the situation, calm down, and think through the situation with your mind rather than with your emotions. If you become angry too quickly and react too quickly in that anger, you are going to cause a lot of trouble.

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

We would all get along a lot better if we would practice the wisdom of the following passage:

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

We should realize that we all offend others.

James 3:2 For in many things we offend all.

Just as surely as people rub you the wrong way, you also rub people the wrong way. We are all sinners. In order to get along with each other, we all have to learn forgiveness and forbearance.

Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

To forbear another is to bear with, have patience with, put up with, or tolerate another. There are things in other people about which it is just best to keep your mouth shut and put up with it. Do you want people getting upset with you and jumping all over you every time you say or do something that offends them? Obviously, none of us wants that. Then let us treat others as we want them to treat us and not get on their case every time they cross us.

Matthew 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

So to sum it all up, when someone offends you, you have two choices. If you judge it to be serious enough, you must follow the procedure given by our Lord in Matthew 18:15-17. If you do not judge the offence to be serious enough to warrant those steps, then you have the choice to pass over it, to overlook it. You may simply drop it. And if you can’t drop it, then you need to pursue Matthew 18:15-17.

Do you profess to be a Christian, a follower of Christ? Then I have shown you how Christ teaches you to handle offences. To react to an offence by going on a backbiting, whispering campaign against the offender is simply not an option for a Christian. Furthermore, backbiting and whispering are offences that warrant exclusion from the church. To leave the church in a huff without taking Biblical steps to resolve the matter is also not an option for a Christian. You have no right to claim to be a follower of Christ, if you do not handle offences His way.

1 John 2:4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

Growth Through Pain, Part 2

It is generally acknowledged that growth comes through pain. I suppose this is the reason that we sometimes hear people speak of growing pains. As an avid exerciser, I know that muscle growth comes about through the muscles being subjected to the pain of resistance. As we say at the gym, “No pain, no gain.” And considering the pain I endured in my last two exercise classes, I am expecting some gain.

As parents we chasten our children to purge them of foolishness and to promote their personal growth. In the absence of the pain of chastening, children do not grow up as they ought.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

The pain of correction will not kill the child, even if he thinks it is killing him. Indeed, from our earliest years we grow through pain. And so is it in our spiritual growth under the care of our heavenly Father. The following passage teaches that greater spiritual fruitfulness results from the pain of God’s chastening of His children for their disobedience.

Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Our sister Sandy Laba had this interesting insight that I want to pass on to you:

The whole conclusion of the matter is that when I began praying for wisdom, I was so unwise that I thought the Lord just dropped it on you somehow, but now I agree with Solomon who said that wisdom doesn't come easily, but comes only through God's hard workouts:

"And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith."

"...yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge."

How right you are, Sandy.

In the passages we have considered so far, we have seen how growth comes through pain that is inflicted upon us through trials and chastening. But we do not have to wait for something painful to happen to us in order to grow. In fact, we are commanded to grow.

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

But we will not grow if we always take the path of ease and least resistance. If we would forward our own spiritual growth, we have to take ourselves through pain to get there. For example, you may be shy and, therefore, have trouble greeting a visitor at church. Or it may be very hard for you to rebuke a brother involved in sin. Or you may have difficulty speaking to an inquirer about your faith. Or you may experience great anxiety praying in front of other people. Or you might have trouble just being in a crowd of people like we have in our assemblies. Or it may be especially hard for you to chasten your child. Or you might tend to avoid the commitment of close friendships and so deprive yourself of the personal growth that comes through such relationships. Or you may struggle with saying “no” to your appetite for something. Just the thought of some of these things may bring on painful anxiety for you. Yet you will never overcome these things until you endure the pain and push yourself beyond your comfort zone. To grow beyond these limits will indeed involve suffering some pain. But, remember, “no pain, no gain.”

As I bring this meditation to a close, let us be reminded that our Lord Jesus Christ did not choose the path of least resistance. He pushed through all His anxieties and went to the painful cross of Calvary that He might save us. Through His great pain has come the great gain of countless multitudes of redeemed souls with whom He shall enjoy glorious fellowship for all eternity in that blessed place of which it is written: “…neither shall there be any more pain” (Revelation 21:4). By the time we arrive there we shall have finally grown up. Hence, there shall be no more pain. Thanks be to God for our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Growth Through Pain, Part 1

I have recently come across a couple of things in my reading that stress that personal and spiritual growth comes through pain. I would like to quote these passages that I have read in the hope that they will be the blessing to you that they have been to me.

On page 355 of her book, Total Truth, author Nancy Pearcey writes:

All of us discover at some point that the most profound spiritual growth typically comes through crises. Because we are fallen creatures living in a fallen world, the winnowing of our character is usually a painful process.

And then I was blessed with this passage from an article by Bishop Fulton Sheen:

Our uneasiness even in the midst of thrills is a kind of pain. As Sir Almroth Wright has put it, “A pain in the mind is the prelude to all discovery.” We generally do not strive to solve a problem until it hurts us to leave it unsolved; many of us would not move unless the unsolved problem hurt us badly.

Even fallen men, who have never tasted God’s salvation, often require a crisis to stir their creative potential in seeking solutions to the crisis. It has been said that “necessity is the mother of invention.” People tend to just drift along making no advancement so long as things are easy. Now to be sure, growth means change and change can itself be a painful experience as it involves effort, trial and error, awkwardness, and fear of the unknown. When do people with a problem seek change? When do they seek a solution? People seek change when the pain of the problem becomes greater than the pain of change.

As we find ourselves in the midst of an economic crisis when people are losing their jobs, their homes, and their investments, this thought of growth through pain should encourage us. It will be interesting to see just how resourceful people become as things become more difficult. It is amazing what people can do when the pain of circumstances forces them.

As for God’s children, who have been saved by His grace, they still bear a fallen nature that ever gravitates to the path of least resistance. Although they have the grace of God within them, they all too often do not use that grace to attain greater spiritual growth unless they are spurred on by a crisis, by something that hurts them. It is for this reason that we read verses like this in the Bible:

Psalms 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Those words perfect and entire describe a believer that has reached full maturity. But observe that this stage of advanced growth is reached through the work of patience that is experienced in the trial of faith. It takes the purging of the fiery trial to purify the gold so as realize its full value.

1 Peter 1:6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

The pain of the fiery trial brings about the perfecting, the maturing of the believer. It is a process of growth through pain. I have some more to write about this, but we’ll save it for next time.