The Eternal Destiny of Our Loved Ones

All Christians have loved ones who show no Scriptural evidence of being eternally saved. Our loved ones may be good people, as men judge goodness, but yet show no love for the Lord Jesus Christ, His word, His church, or His service. We may have tried to witness to them only to find them indifferent, resistant, or downright hostile to our efforts. They love us and we love them. We may have or have had a close relationship with them. But we wonder where they go when they die. For some, this causes great distress. I, too, have had loved ones, dearly loved ones, who have passed on. I do not know whether they are in heaven or hell. Yet I do not worry about this. Let me tell you why.

First of all, only God knows the hearts of all men.

1 Kings 8:39 Then hear thou in heaven thy dwelling place, and forgive, and do, and give to every man according to his ways, whose heart thou knowest; (for thou, even thou only, knowest the hearts of all the children of men;)

Observe how Solomon in this prayer emphasizes that only God knows the hearts of all the children of men. We judge men by what they outwardly manifest in words and deeds. That is all we have to go on. But God, and only God, can see into someone’s heart. And it is in the heart that God begins His work of grace. If God has given a person a new heart, He sees that heart even though we may not. That changed heart can be within even though it may scarcely manifest itself without. Have you ever met someone that even though they were generally very worldly and ignorant of spiritual things, they showed at times what seemed to be a glimmer of spirituality? Maybe that glimmer was a little ray of light from an enlightened heart shooting out from beneath mounds of years of rebellion, resistance to past abuses, accumulated fears, and God knows what all. Or maybe it wasn’t a glimmer of spirituality at all. How do you know? You don’t! Only God knows.

Then our Saviour gave us the parable of the wheat and the tares (Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43). The parable presents a field with wheat and tares growing together. The wheat represents the children of the kingdom and the tares represent the children of the wicked one. The servants suggested to the householder that they go and gather the tares from among the wheat. But the householder rejected that suggestion. Let’s read what the householder said.

Matthew 13:29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.

Our Lord then went on to explain that the harvest is the end of the world. It is at that time that the wheat and tares will be finally separated. If we try to distinguish them now, then we are apt to mistake wheat for tares. You see, sometimes the children of the kingdom can act so much like the children of the wicked one, that we might assume they are the children of the wicked one. So from this I think it wise to defer this judgment unto the harvest.

And then let us remember that we are still in this world very much caught up in the relationships and affections of this world. That is why it grieves us so much to think of our loved ones not being eternally saved. Have you ever noticed that you do not grieve so much over the unsaved loved ones of others? After all, how much sleep do you lose grieving over Esau, or Judas Iscariot, or the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah being in hell? That is because you do not have the natural affection for them that you have for your own. Consider these words of our Lord Jesus:

Luke 20:34 And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:

35 But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:

36 Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.

Our earthly family relationships in this world result from the marriage of men and women. At least that is the Biblical norm for these relationships. But the marital relationship of this world does not carry over into the next world. We will not be related to one another there as we are here. Every child of God will be equally my brother in that world, whether or not he was my father, my spouse, my child, my brother, or my cousin in the flesh in this world. We get a glimpse into this relationship in the relationship we have with our brothers and sisters in the church, even though we have no tie to them by our earthly family. So when we get to the other world, we will not be related as we are here. Our relationships and affections will be totally transformed and we will view everyone saved or unsaved with the mind and affections of the glorified Son of God. Indeed, we will be like Him!

God is absolutely just in all that He does. If he sends one of my loved ones to hell, He is just in doing so. For that matter, if He sends me to hell He is just in doing so. And considering how completely I will be conformed to the image of the just God in that great day of His judgment, I am confident that I will have absolutely no problem with anything He does with any soul in that day. I’ll just be shouting “Allelujah” that I am on His side in the judgment (Revelation 19:1-4).

Lastly, let us ever remember that eternal salvation is by grace and not by works of righteousness that we or our loved ones have done (Ephesians 2:8-9; 2Timothy 1:9; Titus 3:4-5). The salvation of a soul was determined in God’s election of grace. It was secured in the death of Christ for the elect by the grace of God. And it is applied by the Holy Spirit to the elect in regeneration by God’s effectual grace. Nothing but nothing that we do or fail to do has any effect on God’s saving grace. I have preached funerals of people I did not know. I had no evidence that these people were children of God. In these cases I preach the same gospel of grace that I preach over the most devout believers. I tell people that if God wants to save this soul, his bad works will not prevent God from saving him. And if God does not want to save this soul, his good works will not make God save him. Salvation is all of grace and none of works. On such occasions I refer to this verse:

2 Timothy 2:19 Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord (not you, not I, but the Lord) knoweth them that are his.

Well may we rest all of our concerns for our loved ones on this sure foundation. Did this meditation bless you?